CHASTITY HATS
(inspired by a real life hat)
"Since I don't like slash," beamed the fan, "I've found the perfect way to keep you two from acting up." She charged over to Kirk and Spock and slammed baseball caps on their heads.
Kirk quickly pulled Spock closer, and tried to kiss him, but their hat brims prevented their faces from meeting. Spock's eyebrows disappeared into the hat.
"If you behave and keep them on, I'll let you have dessert," the woman said happily, pleased that her plan had worked.
"One of his kisses," said Admiral Kirk defiantly, "is more delicious than a lifetime supply of Boston Cream Pie."